Cricket Humour
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Jokes
The obligatory 'Cricket as explained to a foreigner...'
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!
A keen cricketer
took his wife to a cricket match. She sat through the first innings although
plainly bored. In the second innings a batsman gave a tremendous swipe and
knocked the ball out of the ground for six.
'Thank goodness they got rid of it, she
sighed. Now we can all go home.'
Back in the pavilion, the batsman was talking to a team mate.
'I can't understand it,' he said 'The ball hit my head and the wicket-keeper
caught it, but the umpire gave me out.'
His friend looked sympathetic. 'Sometimes
they go by sound.'
In a country town match, the batsman was out first ball. 'Not
like last week,' said the wicket-keeper.
'No,' said the batsman. 'Last week I stayed in and got forty and when I got back
all the beer was gone!'
An expectant father rang the hospital to see how his wife was
getting on, but by mistake he dialled the number for Lord's.
"How's it going?" he asked.
"Fine," came the answer, "We've got two out already and hope to have the rest
out before lunch. The last one was a duck.
The Devils challenged the Angels to a game of cricket.
"But we've got all the cricketers," said the Angels.
"Yes. But we've got all the umpires!" exclaimed The Devils.
Two aliens were visiting Earth to research the local customs.
They split up so that they could learn more in the time allowed.
When they met to share their knowledge, the first alien told of a religious
ceremony it had seen.
"I went to a large green field shaped like a meteorite crater. Around the edges,
several thousand worshippers gathered. Then two priests walk to the centre of
the field to a rectangular area and hammer six spears into the ground, three at
each end. Then eleven more priests walk out, clad in white robes. Then two high
priests wielding clubs walk to the centre and one of the other priests starts
throwing a red orb at the ones with the clubs."
"Gee," replied the other alien, "what happens next?"
"Then it begins to rain."
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